Well lets keep it simple and say that VTU reared its ugly head again with the 7th sem exams starting today.... CCN went surprisingly well.... Can i hope and take this as a sign of good things to come or is this an attempt by VTU to create a false sense of security and happiness before it pulls the floor out from beneath our feet?.... All we can do right now is wait and watch....
So much for the getting screwed part.... before we progress to the screwing up part, I have a serious question to pose to all my female friends out there..... Why is it that all the intelligent girls (atleast the ones i am acquainted with) are so doubtful about their efforts and their ability to excel?... Why do they develop such inferiority complexes when they come across the merest hint of brilliance being displayed by someone else?...
I will not take any names here but let me tell u guys a story. I have heard recently that the best stories start with 'Once upon a time' and end with 'they lived happily ever after.' Mine is open ended right now so i guess it will not make for a good story but i will try to make it interesting without too much of embellishment.
Once upon a time in the not too distant past there were four friends with the names of A,B,C and D. D was a fool. But D believed in constantly surrounding himself with intellectuals so that some of the intelligence rubbed off. So D was always inclined towards intelligent ppl though he was almost always never part of any group. Stuck on the edge of the fools due to his proclivity and proximity to the intellectuals and always on the fringes of intellectual conversation cuz of his inability to follow most of the conversation....
A,B and C were toppers right from when they were kids. Highly Intelligent as well as having well rounded personalities, they excelled in the fields they chose. A was very well read and highly accomplished in all things literary. B was naturally gifted towards the more delicate arts of poetry and singing. But C was someone who was singularly gifted and stood out even among other intellectuals. C had the qualities/abilities that both A and B possessed as well as other areas of expertise. C was truly a master of all that she put her mind to.
The only thing they all had in common was their feeling of insecurity around (other) brilliant individuals. This was particularly visible in D who can be clinically diagnosed as a person with an inferiority complex. A,B and C although at the top in their respective fields could be observed to having feelings of inferiority if not a full blown inferiority complex as in D's case.
A,B and C also had very high and idealistic goals about assignments, exams, projects and education in general. Although up until their higher technical education these goals were achievable, once they proved to be unattainable the feelings of insecurity and depression developed and like every other quality about them these feelings were also remarkable. Remarkable for the fact that they were most of the time based on a very highly critical self perception of their performance and in their view, Failures. Their Failure to achieve those goals which had until then been easily attainable.
I will end part 1 of the story here and get on with the rest of my screwing up :)
I am sure there are many ppl who follow the maxim "Try, Try, Try till u succeed"..... I think in my case they should be adapted to read "Push, Push, Push till they blow their Top".... :) :) :) This has been something that i keep doing inadvertently or otherwise. My rationalization of this behavior is that it is my attempt to find out where the proverbial line has to be drawn. And the only method to obtain this knowledge is by trial and error.... Though i tend to let myself get carried away with the flow most of the time.
Today was no different except that this time i actually poked the bear when i tried to in my own patented and convoluted way of thinking thought to reassure one of my best friends about her reportedly bad performance on an exam. I kept blundering on oblivious to her mood and finally ended up by seriously annoying one of the sweetest and most patient friends i have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Although she is very slow to anger today i seemed to achieve the improbable and i realized this when i received an unusually caustic reply to a seemingly innocuous statement which on second glance seemed specifically designed to instigate.
So i will end by saying Sorry for screwing up and please this is not EB, It is sincerity. :) :) :P :P
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